My head hurts

My head hurts....and not only from the stress...I think it's this Guinness Beer that is doing it.  I haven't really drank any alcohol in YEARS and when I drink this awful tasting brew I get lightheaded and then have a headache.  So why am I drinking this dark bitter beer?  To try and increase my milk supply.  Oye vye, the things that we do for our kids.  My milk supply is drying up.  But I've resigned myself to this fact.  I could grab that awful plastic breast pump and pump myself silly every few hours....but the thing is I'm exhausted.  I'm beaten down emotional and physically.  I can't wait for Sophia's surgery to be over with and done.  But then one line from Alicia Key's song keeps popping up in my head....."The present is a gift".  So true.  So then I try to cherish every moment NOW and live in the moment and not keep thinking of....in three weeks....things will be better WHEN....  Also, I watched this TLC program last week about this lady with 1/2 a body.  Did anyone else watch this?  My goodness, I think I have it tough but then I watch this amazing women with huge burdens and I marvel at her strength.  This lady with 1/2 a body had to have both her legs amputated from a disease early on in life.  She had a biological son who is now about 7 years old.  And she walks everywhere on her hands or this skateboard that she modified so she can push off on her hands!  Climbs up stairs on her hands!  And taught her son to skate with this skateboard modified with a blade.  Just absolutely amazing.  And then I think to myself that if she could do that then I can overcome my fears about Sophia's operation and stay strong.

I also miss my dog like crazy.  It's been months since he has left us for another family.  And he is living a great dog life.  Living on acres of land planted in grapes.  Remember when we helped this family pick grapes last October?  Well yeah, he is living there.  And by the sounds of it he has adapted well to being an 'outdoor' dog.  But I still miss his cuddles.  It's for the best though.  Alex hasn't had to have any allergy medication in weeks.  Incredibly good news.

So what else can I complain about?  Hmmmm...I guess that's it.  It's incredible that a year ago my dad was still in the hospital recovering from a ruptured brain aneurysm.  And he is completely healthy now and living at home completely mobile, etc.   A true miracle.  So it gives me hope that in a year's time I will be happy as a clam with no worries enjoying the end of summer in a carefree manner and embracing my favorite fall season.  This reminds me of a passage that Kahlil Gibran wrote on Joy and Sorrow:

Some of you say, "Joy is greater than sorrow," and others say, "Nay, sorrow is greater."

But I say unto you, they are inseparable,

Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.

Deep, eh?  I know.  Blame this crazy post on the Guinness.